nearly 3 yrs old & arguementative

[rivers mummy]

please can someone help?
my little girl will be 3 in march and likes to argue with me.
i seem to have to battle with her to do everything (getting dressed, brushing her hair/teeth).
even this morning, I asked her what she wanted for breakfast and she shouted back at me "No mummy, daddy will do it". If I ask to brush her hair, she will shout 'NO'.
she hits when she is angry with me or doesnt get her own way.
I have to pin her between my legs to get her dressed, even though she can get dressed all by herself like a big girl (she does at nursery, the 3 days a week she is there), she even comes home with her hair all put up nicely, coz she will sit still for them.
its so fustrating because i feel like im a bad mum, i have never even hit her.
i put her on the naugty step when she hits, she stays there for 2 1/2 minutes and then she says sorry but she will then repeat it an hour later.
i love her so much but she is such a daddys little girl, even though he spends less fun time with her.
i do painting, glueing, I take her to paultons park, serendipity sams and even swimming, im still the bad one.

[krogerstournois2005]

Hello, I have an almost 4 year old boy who acts pretty much the same as your little girl does, and I am going crazy also. I have tried everything and even now in school he does not listen he hits other children, teachers, what is there to do? I have had him in time away since he was a little boy they do it at school, nothing seems to work? He is the only child, they say I spoil him but not in the disciplining part I do not think I let him get off easy at all, I think I am very hard on him, I try not to yell, spank his buns, speak nice to him, nothing seems to help.

[ihave3boys]

I have recently been introduced to a parenting strategy. It is called "Love and Logic" by Jim Fay and his son Charles Fay. A couple of ideas I have learned from them...

NEVER argue!! When they start to argue tell them, "I love you too much to argue" Don't listen to what they are saying or how they say it...you will just go crazy.

As for getting dressed...if you are not going anywhere, don't worry about it. If you need to be someplace tell them, "I will be leaving in 5 minutes, you can go with me with your clothes in a bag or on your body, it is up to you." If they are going to pre-school let the school know what you are doing and they can assist...not letting them in until their clothes are on, etc...

Talking back...unacceptable. Set the limit...tell them talking back is not ok. The next time they do it walk them to time out or their room and tell them they are in there for talking back.

I hope this helps...good luck!