Advice please....

[13rainbeau]

Hi, I have 4 children, 2 boys age 7 and 8 a girl aged 3 and a 1 year old son,
Life at home has become worse over the last few months, my older boys who share a room are fighting and name calling all of the time, i hear constant 'mom!! he said... he did...'
The younger of the 2 is becoming violent to his brother (who rarely reacts except to cover his face) and has started using bad language.
Im at my wit's end with them, i've tried time out's, seperating them and taking away favourite thing's, theyve had reward charts too but nothing seems to help.
Any sugestions??
Thanks in advance

[MsConstrued]

Do you sit the boys down after a fight they have had once they are both calmer and asked them to talk about what made them act that way? It may seem silly, but at 7 and 8 they are perfectly capable of talking about their feelings and it should be encouraged. Sometimes the less it is encouraged for them to work out their own problems then the worse it gets. You should step in only once a day to help mediate them like you would adults. Let each have a turn expressing how they felt. Then ask them how they think the problem should be resolved. The more kids are given the chance to think for themselves, the better the results are.

Good luck.