Parents and Grandparents discipline views-urgent help needed!

[brighteyedboysmum]

My husband and I have to live with his parents, and have been here for a year thanks to the economy. We have a no-spanking policy and use time out. Since we have been living there they refuse to respect our disciplining techniques, more particularly his mother, and resort to spaking our children ( one is 4y the other is 14mo). When confronted his mother simply states that obviously time out does not work (my way) and her way (spanking) is much more effective because they learn that it hurts to get spankings and will eventually stop. The opposite has happened naturally-now my 14mo old is hitting us, and my four year old cringes when you go to apply just time out discipline and cries "dont hit me". I am told while in her house discipline will be applied as she sees fit. My husband says "I have yet to see mum spank the children, I do hear her shout though, perhaps you are over reacting." But my children are suffering...

How can I get her to let me be mum and ny husband to be dad, and OUR discipline wishes respected while in their home without causing a fall out so to speak with his mother. She and I got into a big fight last time I tried to resolve this and it did not go well. My father in law stated that if I were to disrespect her again like this he will have to kick me out while my children stay here and my husband.

[Kaci]

OH that is a very difficult situation to be in. Your husband is not helping by not standing up to his parents and explaining to them that these are YOUR children not hers. She has no right to discipline them especially in this way. They seem to figure that by allowing you all to stay in their home that they can run your lives. I'm sorry but I don't see your situation improving until your husband gets a backbone and stands up to them. I wish you luck.